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Why are fire engines red?

I hope this clears is up for all y'all.

1 plus 1 is 2
2 more is 4
4 more is 8
and 8 plus 4 is 12
12 inches is a ruler
Queen Elizabeth is a ruler
The Queen Elizabeth sailed the seas
The seas have fish
Fish have fins
The Fins fought the Russians
Russians are red
Fire engines are always rushin'
Therefore, fire engines are red
 

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This thread is NOT a Meme Repository.

I have been asked to cull this thread on several occasions because some posts have not been in The Spirit of the Thread.

By way of explanation: This thread is supposed to be for jokes one would tell at the pub. You know, verbal stories with a humorous twist at the end that make them funny...or unexpected.

If you cannot verbalize the humor, then please don't post it here.

This has been a public service announcement.
 

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I hope this clears is up for all y'all.

1 plus 1 is 2
2 more is 4
4 more is 8
and 8 plus 4 is 12
12 inches is a ruler
Queen Elizabeth is a ruler
The Queen Elizabeth sailed the seas
The seas have fish
Fish have fins
The Fins fought the Russians
Russians are red
Fire engines are always rushin'
Therefore, fire engines are red
Perfectly logical
 

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An example:

1.jpg
 

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Some things to think about

What's the difference between a well-dressed man on a bike and a poorly-dressed man on a unicycle?
Attire. :smoking:

By the way, people who confuse the word "burro" and "burrow" don't know their ass from a hole in the ground. :bash:

Things I overheard recently:

“I don't need Google. My husband knows everything” :thewife:

"Haven't you noticed that people who want to share their religious views with you never want you to share yours with them?" :argue:

“My houseplants are suicidal.” :(

“I want to be rich enough to know that money can't buy happiness." :laughing:
 

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Bikers were riding west on I-70 when they saw a girl about to jump off a Bridge. So they stopped.
George, their leader, a big burly man of 53, gets off his Harley, walks through a group of gawkers, past the State
Trooper who was trying to talk her down off the railing, and says, "Hey Baby.....whatcha doin' up there on that railin'?"

She says tearfully, "I'm going to commit suicide!!"

While he didn't want to appear "sensitive," George also didn't want to miss this "be-a-legend" opportunity either so he
asked ..."Well, before you jump, Honey-Babe...why don't you give ole George here your best last kiss?"

So, with no hesitation at all, she leaned back over the railing and did just that ... and it was a long, deep, lingering
kiss followed immediately by another even better one.

After they breathlessly finished, George gets a big thumbs-up approval from his biker-buddies, the onlookers, and even
the State Trooper, and then says, "Wow! That was the best kiss I have ever had, Honey! That's a real talent you're wasting,
Sugar Shorts. You could be famous if you rode with me. Why are you committing suicide?"

"My parents don't like me dressing like a girl."

It's still unclear whether she jumped or was pushed??
 

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Two cows in a field, one said Moooooooo! The other one said bugger me, I was going to say that!
 

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2 fish in a tank, one says to the other "how do you drive this thing?"
 

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Golf on Sunday

Father Norton woke up Sunday morning and realizing it was an exceptionally beautiful and sunny early spring day, decided he just had to play golf.

So... he told the Associate Pastor that he was feeling sick and persuaded him to say Mass for him that day.

As soon as the Associate Pastor left the room, Father Norton headed out of town to a golf course about forty miles away.
This way he knew he wouldn't accidentally meet anyone he knew from his parish. Setting up on the first tee, he was alone.
After all, it was Sunday morning and everyone else was in church!

At about this time, Saint Peter leaned over to the Lord while looking down from the heavens and exclaimed, "You're not going to let him get away with this, are you?"
The Lord sighed, and said, "No, I guess not."

Just then Father Norton hit the ball and it shot straight towards the pin, dropping just short of it, rolled up and fell into the hole.

IT WAS A 420 YARD HOLE IN ONE!

St. Peter was astonished. He looked at the Lord and asked, "Why did you let him do that?"

The Lord smiled and replied, "Who's he going to tell?"
 

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Somone just offered me 8 legs of venison for $40.....

Is that too deer?
 

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A distressing letter to a male help group that support each other in times of trauma :-

Hey guys,
I really need your help with a very serious problem……..
I suspected for some time that the wife has been cheating. All the usual signs : very cagey use of the mobile phone, going out with the girls a lot etc . Although I try to stay awake to question her when she comes home late, I usually fall asleep before she gets back. So late last night, I decided to hide in the shed behind my motorbike. Sure enough, she got out of some bloke’s car, buttoning up her blouse and slipping on her panties. I really didn’t know what to do. There I was, crouched behind my bike when I noticed it had hairline crack in the engine mounting bracket bracket……….

Is this something that I can weld or do I need to replace it ?
 
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