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Discussion Starter #1
I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ so much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. I have never figured out why men think with their head and women with their heart.

For example, one evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed. Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says "I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me."
I said "WHAT????!!! What was that?!"

She responded to my puzzled look by saying, "Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?"

What every boyfriend/husband on the planet dreads to hear..."You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man."

Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night I went to sleep. The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to take so I told her we'll just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said lets get a pair for each outfit. We went on to the jewelry department where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings.

Let me tell you...she was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know what that is. I think I threw her for a loop when I said, "That's fine, honey." She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement.

Smiling with excited anticipation she finally said, "I think this is
all dear, Let's go to the cashier".

I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No honey, I don't feel like it."

Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled WHAT???!!!"

I then said, "Really honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a
while.. You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man
enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman."
And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me I added, "Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?"

Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either.
 

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Discussion Starter #3
:laughing: i forgot to add that i took this off another forum. ( i didn't do that to my girlfriend!! but the brave guy who did gets my standing ovation)
 

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WONDERFULL!!!! :laughing:

Married almost 19 years and a few times I turned HER down just for the hell of it! :cross: (yes it was painfull)
Mean, but revenge is sometimes just great needed! :naughty:
 

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... and I was going to say "you are my new hero"!... and you just had to go and blow it by your second post??? :laughing:
 

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Reminds me of Ben's joke. It takes a lot of hard work to get a pussy wet!! :laughing:
 

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Discussion Starter #11
odonata said:
ARE YOU SURE????? :stickpoke :stickpoke :stickpoke :laughing: :laughing:

:laughing: :laughing: :laughing:
 

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odonata said:
:laughing: Don't laugh... is that why you are not in bed?!?! :naughty: :naughty: :laughing: :laughing: :stickpoke :stickpoke

J/K!
Fack! Now that you mention it, we're ALL not in bed :eek:
 

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Discussion Starter #14
admin said:
Fack! Now that you mention it, we're ALL not in bed :eek:
no i can't sleep b/c of this damn site!! when i sleep...i dream of MV agustas...when im awake im on this site!
 

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Discussion Starter #15
odonata said:
:laughing: Don't laugh... is that why you are not in bed?!?! :naughty: :naughty: :laughing: :laughing: :stickpoke :stickpoke

J/K!
:stickpoke :stickpoke :stickpoke :stickpoke hey you're up later than me buddy!!
 

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jskipper said:
:laughing: i forgot to add that i took this off another forum. ( i didn't do that to my girlfriend!! but the brave guy who did gets my standing ovation)
No one really did that :rolleyes:

It's been out on the net for a while now ;)
 

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The BITCH

I hope some blog had the balls to do that....,

I'm copying that and sending it to my wife of 21 yrs. Damn women.

First a vasectomy, then a lobotomy, NOW bankruptcy.

Once I was :king: , now I'm :eek:nthecan: .
 
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