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I was testing children in my Dublin Sunday school class to see if
they understood the concept of getting to heaven. I asked them, "If
I sold my house and my car, had a big garage sale and gave all my
money to the church, would that get me into heaven?"
"NO!" the children answered.
"If I cleaned the church every day, mowed the garden, and kept
everything tidy, would that get me into heaven?" Again, the answer
was NO!
"If I gave sweets to all the children, and loved my wife, would
that get me into heaven?" Again, they all answered NO!
I was just bursting with pride for them. I continued, "Then how can
I get into heaven?"
A little boy shouted out, "YUV GOTTA BE FOOKN' DEAD."
It's a curious race, the Irish. Brings a tear to the eye, doesn't it?
 

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Yep Carl ..a curious race indeed!...'Ta be sure'!!:)

An English man.,an Irish man.,and a Scotsman were captured in the desert by a group of terrorists.

The terrorist leader said to each of them....
....'go and find something that would sustain you on your journey across this desert...if you fail I'll execute you..,if you succeed I'll set you free''

They each went out searching...first back was the English man with a huge bunch of grapes..and two oranges he'd found in a wrecked car
He said the juice from them would sustain him on his journey.,and he was set free immediately.

Second back was the Scotsman with large bottle of whiskey he'd found in the back of the abandoned car....
He said it would quench his thirst in the noon day sun .,and although sceptical the man was allowed to go free.

With not much left to choose from 'Paddy' came back carrying the drivers door from the same abandoned car.
The terrorist group convinced they'd get to execute the wee Irish man asked ...''what could this car door possibly do to help you on your journey across the desert''??

Paddy replied....''sure if it gets far too warm I can always wind the window down''!!:)
 

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I was testing children in my Dublin Sunday school class to see if
they understood the concept of getting to heaven. I asked them, "If
I sold my house and my car, had a big garage sale and gave all my
money to the church, would that get me into heaven?"
"NO!" the children answered.
"If I cleaned the church every day, mowed the garden, and kept
everything tidy, would that get me into heaven?" Again, the answer
was NO!
"If I gave sweets to all the children, and loved my wife, would
that get me into heaven?" Again, they all answered NO!
I was just bursting with pride for them. I continued, "Then how can
I get into heaven?"
A little boy shouted out, "YUV GOTTA BE FOOKN' DEAD."
It's a curious race, the Irish. Brings a tear to the eye, doesn't it?

I think you made that up Carl :naughty:

In Dublin there is no need for Sunday school as the schools are essentially all day Mass :)

and Irish I'm afraid ain't a race...It's a nationality....

Sorry to nitpick ..ha ha . You can say what you like about the Jocks and the English but please ....be careful with the Irish..Were fookn' everywhere :smoking:

joe

ps the Irish don't do fookn either ..It's feck, feck, and feckity feck !
 
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