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What is the slowest vehicle you've ever owned?

5K views 38 replies 20 participants last post by  spitfire1776 
#1 · (Edited)
I owned a mid-'80s 3/4 ton 4x4 Chevrolet Suburban powered by a 6.2 liter diesel, that was spectacularly slow.

Part of the problem was that when new, on a good day, it had about 130 horsepower. After many years of wear and tear, probably less.

The other half of the problem was that due to the 35" steel radial mud tires on heavy steel wheels (including two identical full-sized spares carried inside), a 6" suspension lift, front and rear mount 9000-pound winch, spare rear driveshaft, spare fluids, full set of hand tools, air tank, high-lift jack, shovel, axe, 40 gallon fuel tank, skid plates, diesel engine, dual 1100 cca batteries, oversized radiator, and tree-killing bumpers fabricated from 2"x8" quarter-inch thick rectangular tube steel, it weighed well over 7,000 pounds.

I took it to the drag strip once. In spite of the centerline of the crankshaft being over the 24" maximum height from the ground, it somehow slipped through tech inspection. With 4.88 gears and lockers in both ends, it may have done well off road, but it was clearly out of it's element here. I took the maximum legal quarter-mile dial-in of 29.99 seconds, and sand-bagged through a few rounds of eliminations with ETs in the mid-20s at 40-something mph. I did not make it to the money rounds. They asked me not to bring it back, because they had a curfew of 2200 hours, and it simply took to long to wait for me to get to the other end and get off the track so that they could run the next pair.

But it did get 20 mpg. It would go 800 miles on one tank.
 

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#2 · (Edited)
My '04 Ruckus tops out at around 32mph......my '34 Harley Davidson might run faster than that, but I've never gone over about 25mph.

Ooops.....non motorcycles. My '79 Chevy 3500 dump truck is good for 55mph or so.
 
#5 ·
What about the fire truck?? Doesn't it say "32 is all she'll do" on the back? Or is it 42..????
 
#4 ·
Reliant Regal topped out at 65mph and a NSU Quickly topped at 25mph downhill with a tail wind
 
#8 ·
When I was twelve I had a Morris Mini-Minor 850 which was stuck in third gear. I had to slip the clutch like crazy just to putt-putt up-n-down our driveway and around the back yard.

This 1985 Can-Am 350T is probably the slowest, useable vehicle I’ve owned. Wish I’d never sold it.

 
#10 ·
I had an 80" Series 1 Land rover ....... 50mph flat out, downhill, with the wind behind you. Ok, but still to fast for the drum brakes and vague (non power assisted) steering - you could turn about a quarter turn before it affected the wheels! Also a fun winter car - canvas roof/sides, no heater, single skin aluminium doors & tub, no seals to any of the bodywork, and no heater ...... Driving home one night, there was suddenly a loud rumbling, scratching, noise. I glanced out the window and thought "ooh, thats a pretty sunset". But it was pitch black. Quickly realised I'd fallen asleep driving, and the noise was the land rover rubbing along a crash barrier. The Orange glow the sparks from the aluminium body rubbing along the Armco ...!!
 
#11 ·
1976 Ford Granada
 

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#17 ·
Like dating an ugly fat woman.....you'll do it if you have to, but you don't want your buds to know. :naughty:
 
#13 ·
I too have a JD ride on mower, plus a couple of Husky ride ons....technically the one that now is awaiting parts is my slowest vehicle lol......but I used to own a Honda MT250 Elsinore enduro that was so thrashed it topped out around 50mph (still got clean away from a cop at night in the rain, he was Honda CB750 mounted). Actually it was also fun in the dry, scraping the pegs on knobblies :)
 
#20 ·
M35A2- "Duece and a half "

About 10 years ago I sold my C6 and bought this, to avoid further speeding tix. This truck topped out at 48 mph, but it sure could knock down a tree..
 

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#21 ·
A 1977 Opel Kadett that was already like 15 years old when I had it. With some luck it did 130 km/h. Always drove full throttle haha
 
#22 ·
Saab 900i -84 2 door 4 pin gearbox, bought it for 50 euros and spent 12 euros on tyres..
New it had been brown now it was some shade of light diarrhea.

I was 18 at the time... And as all 18 year old boys I drove it like a madman... one time I got it up to 145km/h. after that it was never the same :p
 
#27 · (Edited)
Ok, as posted before, my 240D Benz was extra slow.
I don't own this one but it is cool slow!
But Monday, memorial Day here in the US, I drove this;
1945 Ward LaFrance wrecker, 28000lbs, NO power steering, Non syncro gearbox, Continental 22R engine, 2.5mpg!, 5th gear slight downhill @ 44mph.
You might need to shave by the time you get it in 5th.

Cheers, Ed S :)
 

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#31 ·
When I was a young man I ran a multiple manufacturer dealership . 1 of 26 in chain . ran 500+ cars though auction every week from unwanted trades . ANYHOW One day we picked up a 1982/83 Big Body Mercedes benz with a 4 cylinder diesel (non turbo) with automatic transmission. It was SO slow we had the shop check it out as we thought something was wrong with it . To speed 77MPH
 
#34 ·
...one of the squirrels fell out of the cage?
 
#35 ·
If I remember correctly wasn't the X1/9 originally intended to be an entry-level Ferrari? I seem to remember it being a bit of a fad to fit prancing horse badges to them when new .........
 
#36 ·
I seem to remember Testarossa kits for the X19
 
#38 ·
Well turns down the X just had a loose spark plug!

Not making excuses, but the first three plugs left to right are very easy to get to...the 4th one not so much...too tight to even get a ratchet down there, so you have to hand tighten it.....and yeah that's the one that came loose.

And no the Testa- X1/9 is not a great look!
 
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